Why Me?

I am starting this blog as a way to rant. I need a way to get out some of my anger without slapping the door-to-door salesman who will not take a hint. I have been having a hard time lately just living life. I feel so negative about every moment. My biggest killer is going on Facebook and seeing the perfect families that have grown from the weirdos I knew in high school. They seem so happy and they seem to have it all together, while I am sitting here with a child attached to my breast just wishing that I could take a vacation and never come home.

I know.. I know.. this seems like a Wah! Wah! my life sucks blog already but quite the contrary. My life may suck today, but my life is imperfectly perfect, or at least that is what I am choosing to believe.

I have two beautiful children whom I couldn't be more blessed to have in my life; a husband that, even though he is passed out on the couch after a long day, loves me more than anything in this world. Instead of looking at all the crap that seems to be piled up in front of me, I need to look on the bright side. The world around me seems to be falling apart, but when I look in the community I live in, we seem to be thriving. I look at friends who get to go out on Saturday nights and do whatever they desire, but I get to cuddle up with my children and watch Frozen for the fifty-millionth time (and yes I am the mom that loves to sing along.) Life has a way of catching up to you before you know it and I do not want to be the lady in her ninety's wishing that she could go back. My goal is to look back on my life and know that I did the best I could.

Why is it that it is so easy to dwell on the negatives? I saw a video today of a man that built a small shack for the homeless woman that lived outside of his home. When I saw the video the first thought that came to mind was, "Wow, that poor woman." But I should have thought "how lucky is she?" There are so many people in this world that would have told her to get lost, but this man did the opposite. He welcomed her with open arms and gave her something that she could not have, a home. A home is something that is almost a given that everyone should have. It is second nature to not even think of it as a blessing. It is a comfort item that I certainly take for granted. I think that everyone should have certain rights in this world; a home, a family, and food in their stomachs. Sadly those three things are the things that get shoved aside the most.

I hope to write in this blog as often as I can. I strive to use this as a tool to funnel out my negativity so that I can enjoy my life a bit more.  I hope to inspire someone with my words, and be inspired by others. But most of all I hope to use this blog as a way to reach out and understand things that I would not have understood otherwise. I hope that my 'word vomit' for lack of a better term will help me understand myself more. If there is anyone out there that is reading this thank you for your time, but if not I am glad that I could use this page as an outlet to free my mind before sleeping tonight. Maybe tomorrow I will be a little more productive and a little less grumpy.